In life, you learn that there are certain things that you just have to come to terms with. For me, it was knowing that I am going to have to live with anxiety for the rest of my life. It may not seem like a big deal to a lot of people, a little extra worry here and there. But for me it's so much more than that.

It's living the rest of my life with a constant knot in my stomach, feeling lost all of the time, a weight that never lifts off of my shoulders, only feeling truly safe when I'm at home, not being able to open up to many people or constantly being in fear that something horrible is going to happen to me. 

For such a long time I felt ashamed that all of this is going on in my head, along with everything else. I've probably felt this way as there is still such a stigma attached to having a mental illness, especially at my age. But I've recently come to realise that no matter what people say it's okay to feel the way I do because I now know...

I need help. 

 It's took me two years to admit to myself that I need help with my anxiety, I need to speak to someone who can talk me through everything I have on my mind. I need help to lift the weight that has been drowning me for so long, but more than anything I simply just need someone to understand me.

Living with anxiety has cost me so much over the last few years; I never see my friends, I find it so difficult to send messages or make phone calls, I missed my university graduation, I can barely go out on my own and I've missed out on making so many amazing memories. And as much as it kills me to admit that, I now know that I have to fix myself before I can begin fixing everything else.

So, I've been spending a lot of time on counselling forums, looking for people to speak to who may be able to help and looking into some group sessions that I can join. It may take me a while to actually go through with it, but I know this is a huge step in the right direction. The step I need to take to get the help I need...

If you're suffering with a mental illness and feel like you need someone to speak to then visit Mind. They're an amazing charity who can point you in the right direction!